My Journey
Wracked with fever, delirious and soaking wet, there I was lying on a gurney in a private room in the hospital emergency room. Doctors and nurses came in and out.
What seemed like an eternity passed, while my body shook uncontrollably on that gurney. I thought to myself, “Omg LDub, is this it?!”
A lifetime armored up full-time, ignoring pain and avoiding vulnerability protected me as a kid and made me resilient and calm under pressure as an adult. It also led me to the life-threatening situation I am describing to you now – neglecting myself until it was almost too late.
Something had to give…
IV’s were started and the doc came in to tell me that I had a kidney infection. I thought, “Damn, this is what a kidney infection is like? Wow!” More tests were run and I was feeling less like I was gonna die, with the IV meds kicking in.
The doc came back later in the day and said, “You also have sepsis.” I weakly muttered, “What’s that?” She went on to explain that sepsis is akin to blood poisoning. I croaked “WHAT?!”
The doc went on to explain I would have to stay in the hospital for days on IV antibiotics to get it all under control.
OMG.
Anything like this happen to you?! I know we all have stories…That day began when I was unable to get out of bed and didn’t know why. What I did know is that I felt like crap, was burning up, so likely had a fever (although I never get fevers!) and that it was probably time to go to urgent care. That familiar voice in my head said, “Damn LDub, what have you gotten yourself into now?”
My kids were both home that morning, as it was spring break and my birthday, but one of the kids was down with something as well, so we took a staycation and tried to make the best of it. I did feel off all week, but I blew it off.
Soon our nanny arrived to take care of my kiddos, as I waited for a cop buddy of mine to give me ride to urgent care. When he got to my place, he took one look at me and left the room.
Next thing I know, firefighters and EMTs and an ambulance all descended upon my house at once! I heard my nanny open the door and in they all came. To say I was bewildered was an understatement, wondering what the hell all the fuss was about?! Someone stuck a thermometer in my mouth and asked me how I was feeling, and I said, “not good, but not bad enough for all this madness!” She promptly announced, “103.7.”
“Okay fine”, I thought. I am actually sick with something. There was a lot of commotion with all these first responders in my room and then the EMT told me they were bringing the gurney upstairs to take me down. I squawked, “WHAT?! I just have a damn fever! I am NOT going down on the gurney! Just give me a shoulder and we will walk down the stairs!”
Gladly, they complied. The firefighters wished me well and said I was in good hands with the EMT’s, who would take me to the nearest hospital 10 minutes away. I thought about my Dad, who retired from the fire department. I thought about all my first responder friends I worked with in the public pension industry and how selfless they were to do the things they did every day, usually without thanks.
Speeding to the hospital in the ambulance, I wondered again, “How I had let myself get so sick.” Then everything became fuzzy as I entered the hospital ER on the gurney.
“Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise.”
– Rumi
The Catalyst
If you’ve read this far you may be thinking, “damn LDub! What a hell of an experience! I thought you were healthy!” Well, if you’ve read my other blogs, you know that my pursuit of wellness has been a long-ass journey.
Fast forward to today, I’ve retired from my corporate career and am now driven to give back. I started this blog and the LIVE LIFE FULL OUT! Tribe, in hopes some of these stories will amuse, educate or inspire people like you on your path.
So, how did I go from hospital gurney with freaking sepsis, to now? First, I made a commitment to myself. I was DONE. You ever get that feeling? You get to a point where you will do ANYTHING to change.
That was my catalyst. Once I decided I would do anything to change, I put things in motion. I wanted to improve myself – body, mind and soul. I now had the mindful awareness I needed to make this new choice – to finally nurture myself.
“When people are ready to, they change. They never do it before then, and sometimes they die before they get around to it. You can’t make them change if they don’t want to, just like when they do want to, you can’t stop them.”
– Andy Warhol
IT WAS TIME.
Rising Again
The strides we made were profound, due to the unending love and expert care of my rockstar healing team, coupled with my mindful awareness and hunger to change. I knew I needed to rebuild myself from the ground up, if I was going to be my best self and be able to embrace the life I truly wanted.
And so it began. In between business ventures I made a commitment to myself, to do whatever it took, to get my wellness efforts rolling. I realized health and wellness are the foundation of life; without it, life is a battle.
I kept things simple and chose to focus on why I had to change, what I had to change, and after determined how to change.
Beginning with my emotional and mental health, I reengaged with my longtime therapist and attended the life-changing Hoffman Process. (check out the book in my library here!) I devoured every personal development and wellness book I could get my hands on, a few which you can find here.
I talked to friends, who referred me to more resources and from those resources I learned even more. It was a meandering process, but I was all in.
At this time I was still recovering from shoulder reconstruction and cervical spinal surgery (yes, it’s true!), so for my physical health, I devoted my energy, money and time and am grateful to have worked with several incredible healers:
- My Health & Performance Specialist, Coach Bryan Osuna-Committed HP
- My Functional Medicine Doctor and Chiropractor/Network Spinal Analysis Doctor, Dr Shea Osuna – The Well Healing Center
- My Chinese Medicine Healer and Acupuncturist, Karen Mittlestadt – Portola Valley Acupuncture
- My Physical Therapist, Dr Joey Salgado – Progressive Motion Physiotherapy
“I no longer feared the darkness once I knew the phoenix in me would rise from the ashes.”
– William C. Hannan
Friends who have born witness and continue to be there throughout my transformation, have given me another nickname: Phoenix, after the creature who obtains new life, rising from the ashes from which it came. These loyal, respectful, trustworthy souls continue to have my back, as I have theirs – one of life’s true gifts.
How about you? Where are you on your path? Are you fulfilled in all areas of your life? If not, start simply – remember awareness is the first step.
Be truthful with yourself and first identify why you must change. Then determine what you are willing to do to get the outcome you want. Then determine how – what you actions you need to take to achieve what you want.
It all starts and ends with YOU. You’ve got this my friend. I believe in YOU.
Want More Tips To Be Your Best Self?
Get your copy of my original eBook, 5 Easy Ways To Be A Healthy Badass!
The first in The 5 Easy Ways series, my beautiful 25 page interactive workbook stule eBook will give you simple tips and tools to improve your mindset, nutrition, hydration, sleep and movement habits.
Celebrate your successes with easy ways to be your best self!
I love ya Laurie! You are the best and I’m so proud of you for making your Dreams come true. I’m with you all the way my friend.
Sandy
Hey hey Sandy love you too! Thank you for your sweet comments-YOU ROCK! You too can make your dreams come true-gotta LIVE LIFE FULL OUT! Much love, Laurie
Great testimony to both overcoming a terrible health scare and the why to seek the best methods to obtain and maintain health Laurie! Keep up the fine work, your experience and wisdom will help many of us.
Hey Doc many thanks for checking out my blog and your kind words! Take good care and don’t forget to LIVE LIFE FULL OUT!
I agree people have the scrape the bottom to get the intrinsic desire to change. What a dramatic and scary health emergency! So grateful for all that you survived. xoxo